Is It Possible To Remain Orthodox as a Gay Man or Woman?

So for my entire life i have been living within the orthodox community. Over the years i have been a part of several different faction within orthodox society, chasidish, litvish, modern orthodox etc. The one thing they all seem to have in common is that there is no room for gay people within them. Now this may seem harsh and biased, but in all honesty if someone can show me a specific community where they have no problem with me being gay, i would love to see it.

Now the way i see orthodoxy is that is simply a social setting which practices traditional Judaism. I think the fact that people automatically associate "orthodoxy" with anybody that practices traditional Judaism is wrong. First off you have many people who identify themselves as orthodox, and barely keep to anything within Judaism. So i dont think being orthodox means you are completely religious or vice versa.

Now the social community that identifies themselves as orthodox does not accept or recognize homosexuality. Yes some leaders within the communities have expressed some sympathy for people "struggling" with homosexuality, but the general consensus is "you are not wanted, there is something wrong with you, stay away from me".

Some people defend the orthodox community and say that they are accepting and sympathetic as a whole (up to a point). So for arguments sake lets say the community is accepting, there is another big problem, where does someone who is gay fit into the social chain within the community? The entire system is set up from the day we are born to the day we die, to follow a path that surrounds a man marrying a woman, and until you do so, you are not a success, nor are you respected as an adult. So where does this leave anyone that is gay and wants to remain within the orthodox framework? At best he can be pitied, and sympathized with, and he will forever be the guy who gets "galilah" in shul...

A depressing thought, but sadly true...

2 Weeks into Gay marriage in NY, Anyones life end yet?

anyone?

You Will Turn My Kids Gay!

There is this ridiculous myth, especially in the orthodox community, that it is possible for an individual to turn another individual from straight to gay. One of the big arguments of the community for not speaking about the topic of homosexuality, is the fear that it will influence some innocent kids to become gay,

And that is exactly why we need to have more dialogue about homosexuality, to dispel such ridiculous myths, maybe if some frum people knew im not a threat, to their kids (lol), they would have some more empathy....

besides if the myth were true, then shouldn't i be straight, due to the "influence" straight people have had on me  while being raised.?

sometimes the logic of people boggles my mind lol.

What Will My Future Be Like?

Something that bothers me and haunts me every day, is what will my future be like? Am i destined to be stuck in the frum community, as a nebach single, who everyone pities, or am i destined to leave the community, and not have much to do with my family? Will i marry a lesbian? or is there another option?

Any of these do not really seem appealing to me, so what do i do? what does anyone in my situation do? I know there are small groups of frum people in the same situation, and they have built some kind of semi community.but have they looked towards the future, what about when we are old, and alone, what then...

Mind Consuming

For some reason when a person is gay, and hiding it from everyone, it becomes your main thought. Its like everything you live revolves around the fact that you are gay, every time you go anywhere, somehow it manages to come up in you mind that you are gay, i wonder if its because of the fact that we are hiding it, and our minds work as a sort of "companion", sounds a little weird, but i think its true.

Since we dont really have anyone to talk to about being gay, or to express our feelings, (in a healthy way anyway), our mind becomes consumed by the fact that we are gay.

That is why i feel it is important to have people to talk to in person about it, online friends is not enough, at least for me it isnt, so my next goal is to make friends that i can be open to about the fact im gay, and i dont mean friends for relationships.

Good luck to me lol.

Do We Make Frum People Frummer?

Ever notice how the gay issue, brings out the ultra frumness in most frum people, especially the guys lol. When the NYC gay marriage law was passed, the frum news forums, were going crazy with doomsday predictions, and rants about how hashem will bring his wrath on the world,

how come this issue inspires so much worry, and and ehrlichkeit, as opposed to other aveiros such as sinas chinom, for example, which brought down the bais hamikdash, isnt there more sinas chinam in the frum community, than people that are acting on gay desires, so why is this the HOT BUTTON issue, that brings everyone to a frenzied mess?

hmmm i wonder...

Marrying a Lesbian?

 What are the alternatives to having a steady relationship with another man?

Well of course i want to have the dream jewish family, kids, a home, yom tov with the family etc, but one thing i will never do is marry someone i am not attracted to, without them knowing, one its probably against halacha, and two i would be living a lie, i am not judging anyone that has, it is not in my place to do so, but i know that i could never do that.

So whats the alternatives? well either you find a straight frum woman who doesn't mind someone who cant provide sexual intimacy, or you make an arrangement with a gay frum girl, who is technically in the same boat as you, and marry out of convenience, i wonder if this has been done before, and if it can work out...